I moved into a residential hotel in August because this sort of housing is the only thing that closely fits my needs. I had to prioritize mail security and accessibility but compromise on location. After a few small trips to storage, I made the the wrong decision of moving a lot at once.
This is what you can see of the messy situation in my hotel-home in October. This was also the last time I have been able to afford to go to storage. I also cannot technically afford to keep my things in storage, but I pay the bills the best that I can. Most of my supplies and tools, which are the things I need to make money, are still in storage, so the locker expense is costing me significantly more than the face value of the rent.
I am coming undone in both a figurative and literal sense. It is difficult for me to unfasten and unwrap my things by myself and the process is slow. Without having everything in the same place, it is not even possible to unpack everything and create order. Those things are undone, but they are the least of the problem. The coming undone of plans and accepting failure are by far the worst.
There was a plan that got off to a good start and I was able to open my shops as soon as I moved.
The surprising thing was all three shops started producing well right away, but, after the first month, sales ceased and there was nothing I could do to restore performance. Without the ability to regularly list new items, my search rank spiraled downward. I made the mistake of being aggressive and running ads on Etsy. Hundreds and hundreds of dollars later, nothing has improved.
Between storage costs and spending money to try to resolve the storage impact on my ability to do business, I am not able to take care of my basic needs to keep a roof over my head and eat everyday.
I need your help today so I can start over.
I need to go back to the beginning, pay the past due rent on my lockers, hire help for moving and unpacking, and retrieve everything from storage. The process is going to be a little bit slow, because I can do very little on my own at once. The move must be gradual, but it will get done. I absolutely cannot do what you see in the image above again. That was a detriment to my well-being and was probably worse to have done than not done at all.
My shops are a mess. The advertising to make up for the lack of new items to list created enormous shop bills. My textile shop has been suspended for almost one month now. My vintage supply shop and chicken sweater shop are teetering on suspension now again. I am hoping beyond hope that they can save themselves since the sale of just one item in each of them will be enough to turn the situation around.
The most urgent need, and I do mean today, is money to pay room rent and to buy groceries. Storage locker rent and shop bills have depleted my funds to take care of basic economic needs. This living situation should have been sustainable, and I am profoundly disappointed that I find it impossible to come close to doing that.
Somehow, my As are still straight and my advisor admires me for doing that. I don't tell him all of the details, but he has an understanding that my personal situation is nearly impossible to navigate. I don't know how I do it either. Whether or not it is even wise, I am still "all in" with every aspect of my life and have no desire to stop, no matter how awful the circumstances are.
Can you help? There is a donate button in the right side bar of this blog for donations via PayPal. You can also donate directly using my Paypal e-mail: baisebeige@gmail.com.
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